About Me

"I am a human being.  I consider nothing that is human alien to me”  (Publius Terentius Afer 195-159 BC)

I thought I would never need therapy.  I was the managing director of a successful company.  I had always been fine.  Suddenly life got tough and I found myself in crisis.  

At first I looked for quick fixes but these led only to more confusion.  …



If you would like to see my availability and book and pay for a session please use the on-line booking facility below or contact me.   

•   When you book on-line I will check my schedule to make sure the session you want is available and send an email back to confirm your booking.

Contact Me

For all enquiries, please contact me on 07958 683 633 or matt@amattdavies.com or by sending a message on the form below.

Relationships and Couples

“Love is an act of will, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.  (M Scott Peck) 

Relationships can bring us the greatest joys and also our deepest woes. I work with men and women of all sexual orientations in couples or individually helping them to maximise the opportunities within their partnership.   Everyone in an intimate relationship, of whatever persuasion, will usually meet with difficulties at sometime or other.  …


“I will not die an unlived life, I will not live in fear”  (Dawna Markova)

Psychotherapy can offer you a way to live the life you want to live, to complete unfinished business and to grow into your true potential.  It is a way to personal growth and fulfilment.   

You may realise you want to do better, want more from life, from yourself, your work or your relationships.  …


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Person with Person

Lives are fuelled by conflicting ideals, sometimes in the unconscious, be they political, cultural, ecological, scientific, spiritual, philosophical or religious.  One person’s god is another’s devil.  Thereby lies the root of division and strife.  We may do better by turning our gaze towards each other if cultivating peace and love is our aim.  Consider this:  "Religious feeling within humankind in the future will be based on recognising the image of the divinity in every human being as a matter of immediate daily experience, not merely in theory.  …

Be Together. Not The Same

"Be Together.  Not the Same.  Be Yourself.  Do your thing.  See what’s going on."   So says the advert for Android, The Open Source Operating System.  These words could also stand as a useful guide for operating healthily in human relationships.    But relationships between humans are complex. Your are not an android.  Being yourself can be a painful struggle, not sure of who that self is, comparing against others, seeking validation and sometmes trying to be the same in an effort to live up to the expectations of others.    …


Time is the currency of relationships.  It is rarely appreciated how important this is, with couples routinely ignoring the need for investment of time and nurturing in their relationship.  The area of relationships is one of three identified by researchers that commonly suffer under stressful conditions:  Productivity, Relationships and Personal Wellbeing.  A person’s unique character structure and family background will determine how well performance in each area can be maintained.  Unfortunately, relationships often suffer most under today’s intensely stressful conditions. …

Authentic self?

Our authentic self is a relational entity.  It is created by us through relationship to others.  “We define our identity always in dialogue with, sometimes in struggle against, the identities our significant others want to recognize in us. And even when we outgrow some of the latter — our parents, for instance — and they disappear from our lives, the conversation with them continues within us as long as we live.” (Taylor, Charles. The Ethics of Authenticity. Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1991, p33)  

Male / Female

New research shows that maleness or femaleness is not just about the presence of ovaries or testicles and the different hormones they secrete to develop a male or female body.  Neurobiological factors play their part in developing distinctly different patterns in the structure of male and female brains.  It has been shown that these brain structures are instrumental in how a person develops their sexual tendencies and gender role behaviours.  What’s more, brain and body develop independently from different hormonal signals.  …


I get more clients coming for help with relationships at this time of year.  January traditionally sees the highest number of divorce applications(1), although nationally, rates fell from 2011 to 2012(2).  Coming for help as a couple, especially with a sexual issue, can be difficult.  Some couples are not comfortable talking to each other and some find it easier to talk about sexual issues with a professional.  For others it’s the other way round.  Men are less likely to seek help than women.  When they do, they are more likely to see the issue as concerning their partner only and of a physical nature with no need to attend as a couple(3).   …

Inherently disorderly?

For most people, sex defines the couple relationship and issues around it are certainly present in my therapy room.  Is sex inherently disorderly? When does it ever run smoothly? Ever since a certain man called Adam and a woman named Eve found themselves alone in a garden, sex has brought conflict and distress. They follow their desire, find sexual knowledge and are banished by parental authority to a life of drudgery(1). There is a paradoxical conflict between desire and security, as often one cancels the other out in long term relationships(2). …

What to Expect?

"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.  Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.  Begin it now”  (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

I am trained in a range of methods old and new.  I have read my way through volumes on psychology and philosophy.  Despite all this, at my core is rooted a deep open-hearted curiosity and appreciation for the mystery of your individual human existence and your ongoing journey in life.  

Together - Exploring Relationship to Self and Others

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Feedback from previous participants:-

I liked the relaxed approach to exploring”  Anon

“Love the fluidity of the movement with psychoanalysis vibes”  Maria Sophia

I found I got a lot out of the session. …..I feel a little more able to take on issues I can have with my relationships."   BH

"It was great to be able to observe relationship dynamics as a third person”  ST

“I saw things in a way I’d not seen them before”  Anon

“This has been a fantastic way to explore issues / thoughts / experiences in a really safe way.  Thank you.”  Rose

“Good balance between movement, talking and feeling.  Well done.  I gained more knowledge about myself.  Thank you.”  Anon

“Thanks for last Sunday, it was great fun. I loved how easy everything is and yet insightful….how we cover up vulnerability with criticism, etc. that was amazing to catch one in the act as it were.” MJ 

 “I'm truly grateful.…. I want to thank you for giving me the space to explore this part of myself....grow and feel confident that I can open up.” RM 

“I like the structure. It was interesting learning.…it got me looking at patterns in my life of how I react.”  VS 

“I am experiencing some really positive shifts since the workshop.”  TM

“I really enjoyed the workshop..the most significant thing that happened for me was a subtle energetic shift…Also the exploration was great…..I am a bit more engaged and conscious of my issues around “together”…..a great balance of activities and a lot was covered in a short time!” AS

Next Together Workshop dates to be announced.  

Please contact us if you are interested.

‘Together’, mind-body mini-workshops for couples and individuals, men and women, exploring ways of being in relationship to self and others.    

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‘Together’ are mind-body mini-workshops I am offering with my wife Sarah Davies, a 5 Rhythms and Open Floor movement facilittor.  The workshops are for individuals and couples, men and women exploring relationships to self and others.  …

Freedom in Sexuality & Relationships

Talk given at event in Forest Row on 5th March 2014 about Freedom

I am going to talk about a very defined place of Freedom - Sexuality and Relationships.  I think this is one of the most important areas for human freedom.  Nowhere is there such societal and personal judgement and prejudice.  …

© Matt Davies 2013